Best. Conspiracy Theory. Ever.

Courtesy of Big Tobacco, summed up in these two sentences (but be sure to read the whole thing):

This war is founded on a lie: that pubic hair is somehow unclean and unhygienic and needs to be removed in order to foster a healthy body image. The poor shave their bodies, and the rich get richer.

While you're at at, make sure to check out his "This belt is blue" post. I've had some moments where I've been sorely tempted to carry out a similar gesture.

The War on Terror is over

What else should I conclude now that the Feds are wasting their time prosecuting someone for obscenity?



h/t: Radley Balko

Facing decades in jail because he made videos featuring and intended for consenting adults. How exactly is this any of the government's business?

Exchange this weekend

Place: smoking (poor quality...not my choice) cigars outside a friend's apartment on Hunt Street about half a block west of Welch.

Time: 0200 on Friday night/Saturday morning

Situation: A couple of females who could best be described as heifers (click on "Voices II" and then on "heifer") came stumbling by with a couple of (for their sake, hopefully drunk) guy friends, doing the "I'm an obnoxious overweight drunk girl and I want everyone to know it" thing, aka shouting and starting "fights" with their friends for no reason. One of the above described females comes stumbling back towards us after we thought she had gone away. The following exchange ensued:

Drunk Fat Girl (DFG) (talking directly to one of my friends): "Ohmygawd, you look just like Tony! I bet you get that a lot though."

My friend: "...uh, nope...I really don't."

DFG (to all of us): "So can you guys do coke?"

Us: "....what...? No, no...we really can't..."

DFG (to all of us): "Ohmygawd, that's lame..."

DFG goes waddling off.

This is before the Obama worker comes by to bitch about black people and then goes up to his room to blast Slipknot.

That's Impressive

11 year old field strips and reassembles AR-15 in less than a minute:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

h/t: Danger Room

Damn. For the record, that wasn't a complete function check. Also, I'd be interested to see her do that with a rifle that doesn't disassemble quite as easily as the AR...say, the greatest battle implement ever devised? Still, pretty impressive. I think DIs may have a new tool in their arsenal. In the past, they've used a certain scene from a certain movie to illustrate a good example of small unit tactics during a response to contact, also highlighting how quickly a Hollywood actor could do a mag change (right around 2:05 in the video). A Hollywood actor is one thing, but an 11 year old girl? If you can't beat an 11 year old girl that's really embarrassing.

Smart Guy

I've gotta agree with Radley Balko on this one, the guy who registered VPilf.com definitely gets my vote for entrepreneur of the week.

Weird

Having a nightmare where you get bit by a spider and somehow go into anaphylactic shock. I had to literally wake myself up so I'd start breathing again. At least I'm in good company in having dreams of this nature.

Why I'll never voluntarily talk to the cops

h/t: Anarchangel

Similarly, this is why I'll never consent to a search of my vehicle. The police aren't there to be your friend, they aren't there to protect you or your rights, they are there to enforce the law as agents of the state. Period. Your rights only protect you as far as you are willing to hold to them. If you voluntarily give them up they aren't doing you much good.

Clarification

I posted last week referencing Ronald Reagan in regards to the Russian conflict with Georgia. I didn't mean to imply that the only possible solution to this problem is a military one. Indeed, Russia is doing a damn fine job of providing the rope to hang themselves with. The U.S. orchestrated the Georgian war to impact the U.S. presidential election? One of the U.S. political parties forced the Russian military to deploy more than a few battalions over the Caucasus Mountains? Seriously? Who let Putin go off his meds?

However, all of this is meaningless without a larger U.S. strategy with regard to Russia. I don't agree with everything in that piece, but it's a damn sight better than anything else I've seen in the media. The emphasis on Reagan wasn't intended to suggest that the only possible solution is a military one, but that we do need to come up with a comprehensive strategy to deal with Russia instead of alternately ignoring until they act up and then freaking out until we can go back to ignoring them again. Russia certainly isn't our friend, but it's a little premature to declare the country our sworn enemy and go back to discussing a Cold War. This isn't 1950, Russia is not the Soviet Union, the SCO is not the Warsaw Pact, and Russia and China certainly were never friends. (Hell, that wasn't even true in 1950.)

While I would've liked to see a bit more active of a response to the whole Georgian thing, it is what it is and what's needed now is levelheaded thinking, not heated rhetoric.

Mid-Week Rock

Changing things up a bit this week...something from the man in black:



If you don't think Johnny Cash rocks, you can go to hell.

Frustration is

Being stuck in an upper level foreign policy class in which we watched a video (Prof was gone at a conference) that drew parallels between Kennan and Nitze, essentially portraying them as similar thinkers, while simultaneously reading a book (for fun) highlighting the distinct differences between Kennan's original idea of containment and the actual implementation of that idea as laid out in NSC-68. Implying that Kennan was an architect of the unlimited, military-centric containment as laid out in NSC-68 and practiced by the Truman administration post-Korea is more than a bit disingenuous, especially for what's supposed to be an upper level class.

Hopefully the discussion next week will be a little more enlightening, but I'm not optimistic.

Know what's behind your target

In this case, a rabbit:



Lessons learned - Don't let your son drop your rifle, bunnies fly really high when they're shot with a deer killing caliber, and that was one stupid buck.

Should be required viewing...

...in all freshman orientation classes:

In Ray's future?

This one is probably gonna be a bit of an inside joke to the kids at my Det. Sorry to everyone else, but you should be able to get the general gist of it.

Woman to virtual ex: 'I won't be ignored!':

This has to be the weirdest and saddest, crime-of-virtual-passion story I've come across. Kimberly Jernigan--a 33-year-old woman from North Carolina--was apparently distraught after her online relationship with a 52-year-old man from Claymont, Del., came to an end. The pair apparently met through the online community Second Life and began a virtual relationship. The two finally met in reality several months ago, and the alleged victim ended the relationship, sending Jernigan into a downward spiral.

<...>

On August 21, police said, Jernigan broke into the unnamed victim's apartment with a Taser, a pair of handcuffs, a BB gun, her dog, and a roll of duct tape. He wasn't there, so she waited. When the virtual ex arrived home he saw what looked like a laser beam projecting on his chest. He immediately fled the apartment and contacted the Newcastle County Police.

<...>

Approximately an hour after the incident, authorities in Maryland spotted Jernigan's vehicle at a rest stop on I-95. She was taken into custody after a brief struggle. Jernigan is currently facing charges of attempted kidnapping, burglary, and aggravated menacing, CBS3 said.

Sorry Giggles, it was too good to pass up.

I'm not going to say I told you so

But I told you so:

CRAWFORD, Texas (Reuters) - The White House on Monday pressed Russia not to recognize Georgia's rebel areas and said Vice President Dick Cheney, an staunch critic of Moscow, would visit the region to show U.S. support for former Soviet states.

<...>

President George W. Bush said Georgia's borders must be respected after the Russian parliament called on the Kremlin to recognize two separatist regions -- South Ossetia and Abkhazia -- as independent states.

"I call on Russia's leadership to meet its commitments and not recognize these separatist regions," Bush said.

"Georgia's territorial integrity and borders must command the same respect as every other nation's, including Russia's," he said in a statement from his Texas ranch.

...but not including Afghanistan, Iraq, or Serbia. I sure hope he at least had a smirk on his face when he said that, because there's no way I would've been able to say any of that with a straight face.

What exactly did I say? Read the whole thing, but here's the really pertinent part:

It would appear that a desire to do good through ending what it called genocide led the United States down a road that ended with it reshaping a long held international norm and getting pigeonholed into supporting an insignificant new country against its best interests. The road to hell is, indeed, paved with good intentions.

Yup, pretty much.

Summed Up

Want to know why I've given up on domestic politics?

This story sums it up rather nicely:

Obama not only aired a response ad to the spot linking him to William Ayers, but he sought to block stations the commercial by warning station managers and
asking the Justice Department to intervene. The campaign also planned to compel advertisers to pressure stations that continue to air the anti-Obama commercial.

Because there's nothing more American than using the power of government to shut up your domestic political opponents.

And rest assured, I have absolutely no doubt that the GOP would do the exact same thing if the tables were turned. Hell, the Libertarians already tried something similar. If this is where the parties are coming from, I have no interest in trying to compromise with any of them. This isn't choosing between a douche and a turd sandwich, it's choosing between getting hit in the face with a bat and getting kicked in the nuts.

Blasphemy

Using hops in deodorant. Fine in and of itself, but there's a worldwide hops shortage!

Not cool man, not cool.

h/t: The Agitator

Protest Fail

Seriously?

h/t: Lex



Too bad he made the speech in front of a bunch of Bible thumpers. Can't help but think most of his audience are like Doc Long and Joanne Herring in that they've got a little too much in common with the Mujahideen. Still, the larger point remains.

I do too

More or less what I'm thinking whenever I get asked what I think about some domestic politics situation...

South Park Monday

In honor of the clips I posted earlier this week...



Mr. Lu Kim, tear down this wall!

Jesus Christ dude, they've done some stupid crap before, but Jesus Christ...

I love Stan's reaction to Randy.

Edit: Sorry about the late timing on this one...thought I had it set up to publish automatically. Apparently I still have yet to master Blogger.

Obama's new ad

Rick Barack Rolled!

h/t: Below the Beltway

These are worth watching too:

Seen Tonight

On the west side of Towers: a guy wearing a backpack riding a bicycle rather unsteadily down the middle of the street. At least he wasn't driving...

Seen this morning in Campustown

The anti-walk of shame: a kid (looked like he was about 14 but probably just a young looking freshman) wandering around between Welch and Stanton dressed in a short sleeve button down tucked into pressed khakis toting a backpack that was probably actually full of books (as opposed to what is usually in a backpack being carried in Campustown...no, you aren't fooling anyone. No one thinks you're going to study at 2330 on a Friday). Anyway, no idea what he was doing or where he was going, but that's probably the most incongruous thing I've seen this week, which is saying something, since there's been a lot of incongruous things this week given the annual influx of clueless freshmen.

Offered Without Comment

Okay, maybe one comment. Pay particular attention to what President Reagan says after the famous "tear down this wall" line (emphasis mine):

I understand the fear of war and the pain of division that afflict this continent--and I pledge to you my country's efforts to help overcome these burdens. To be sure, we in the West must resist Soviet expansion. So we must maintain defenses of unassailable strength. Yet we seek peace; so we must strive to reduce arms on both sides.

To those who stopped paying attention, "everything old is new again." To those that were, the Iron Lady sums up pretty well how we feel:

Mrs Thatcher muttered: “The end of history? The beginning of nonsense.”

South Park Monday

Two of my favorite Chef moments...RIP



There's a time and a place for everything, and it's called college.



Hello there Children!

Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?

...goodbye

New gun

Welcomed a new addition to the small (but growing) family today, a Ruger 10/22. Just jumped off the rack at the local shooting range when I was there today putting some rounds downrange with Patrick from my Carbine and a long slide XD in .40. Pics will be a possibility later in the week, right now I'm in the process of getting moved back to Ames for the year. The gun is hardwood (not walnut, probably birch or beech) stock, standard length barrel, open sights. Looks like it's gonna be a lot of fun.

I justified it in two ways: one, I'll use the Wally World gift cards to "offset" the purchase, and two, I actually saved myself money because by purchasing this relatively inexpensive gun now I saved myself the trouble of being forced into buying a more expensive rifle or handgun in a few months.

Not to say there won't be a purchase in a few months, just that I won't be forced into it.

Besides, you should never need an excuse to buy a gun. Like I told Patrick, some of my best purchases have been prefaced with the sentence, "Ah, what the hell...I'll buy it." In any case, I'm looking forward to putting some rounds downrange that are pennies on the dollar compared to my .30 Carbine rounds. Put another way, for less than the cost of 500 rounds of .30 Carbine I can buy 5000 quality rounds of .22 LR.

The Horror

You may or may not be aware that "racewalking" is an Olympic sport. What I'm sure you definitely aren't aware of is that the lone U.S. competitor in the 20km event this year is a Captain in the United States Air Force. Don't believe me? Get it straight from the horse's mouth. The other airmen competing? Fencing, trap shooting, and modern pentathlon. All acceptable. Racewalking, not so much. Sounds to me like Capt. Eastler needs to cut the jibba jabba.

Sound of Freedom

When there's plenty of this:



and this:



off in the distance, it only means one thing...AIRSHOW TIME! T-Birds, F-15, A-10, Super Bug, and C-17 demos, flying P-51s (of course), and on static display, among other things, both a F-22 and an Osprey. It's gonna be sweet.

Word from the CSAF

When he speaks, you just might want to listen:

CSAF Guidance

View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own.

CSAFs Perspective

View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own.

Thanks to SJS for putting these up. He's got some good selections from the slideshow and some thoughts on the matter, especially WRT the Navy's perennial problem.

Here's what stuck out to me...

Restore credibility on Capitol Hill one member (and staff) at a time

Sucking up to Congress-critters and getting them unpissed off at the USAF is going to be key to fixing things, KC-X aside (that's just a no-win situation).

Discover how the users of AF capability assess our performance and their comfort with the manner in which we provide that capability.

Acknowledgment that the USAF exists to provide capability to others? HERETIC!

"Everyone contributes"...no one has greater value to our collective mission than another.

That sound you just heard were several fighter pilots' heads exploding.

The entire "Guiding Principles" slide

This one sums it up: everyone is important and everyone is accountable.

Generally get back to the basics of precision and reliability that have sustained our reputation for decades.

A picture is worth a thousand words, so...We will look hard at third rail issues.

An observation...are there any issues in the AF today that AREN'T third rail issues? Just sayin'...

We will be devastating on poor performers and misconduct.

As long as the punishments are proportionally equal for junior SF enlisted who play video games while on guard during a NSI and O-6s who can't keep their pants zipped.

"Global Vigilance, Global Reach, Global Power...done your way."

I think it should be official policy that any future mention of that standard USAF doctrine hooah must include the BK slogan after it. That's just awesome.

Exquisite support of Joint partners does not diminish us

That sound you're hearing are the rest of the fighter pilots' heads exploding.

Everything on slide #4 of CSAF Priorities

As long as "come to closure" means get it all wrapped up in less than a year, sounds good to me.

Ground forces have primacy in this fight

That's certainly a new thought from USAF leadership.

This is not a permanent condition

Over to you, "next war-itis" thinkers.

Not limited to: what we like doing, what we're good at, or where it fits our rhythm as a Service

That'll be something new: the Air Force doing something it doesn't enjoy doing. I don't think he's talking about playing badminton instead of golf.

Never unzip your zipper in public

Sounds good to me.

You will deal with politics...but you must remain apolitical...now and in retirement.

I have absolutely no idea who he may have been talking about.

Overall, I'm cautiously optimistic. It won't be easy, but I have some faith that he and SecAF Donley can manage to wrest the USAF out of the inverted flat spin it's currently in.

The '80s

I've held the belief that (mainstream) music in the '80s was largely a load of crap. I stumbled across this video earlier tonight and the prevalence of good music in the first minute (Floyd and Queen) made me reconsider my position, so I conducted an unscientific poll.



The results? Total clips contained in this video - 47. Clips from songs I consider "good" - 18.

Yup, (mainstream) '80s music largely sucked.

Addendum: I inserted (mainstream) because there was a lot of good music from the '80s (like punk and metal) that I don't consider "from the '80s" because it wasn't popular, at least not according to the charts. I think that the Clash and Maiden have withstood the test of time a little bit better than Wham! and Taco.

I PITY THE FOOL

Similar to my reaction to the ads -





GET SOME NUTS!

h/t: the CDR

And as for being offensive, this ad is only offensive to girly metrosexual "men," gay or straight, who think that speedwalking is a valid form of exercise. Stigmatizing and mocking them is something I think we can all agree is good.

Mid-Week Rock

RIP

Just Because

I came across this when I was searching for a Colbert vs bears video. It's most definitely worth posting.

Pop Quiz

What do these all have in common?

That I'm going to Elmendork Elmendorf AFB, of course. Now I just need to get a bigger gun so I can strike down all of those godless killing machines.

Leavin

Headin' out Coloradee way to get me some climbin'. Be back middle of the week.

In the meantime, here's an early South Park Monday:

Disco Stu wants to get busy with you

This would be a really good way to freak out all the freshmen in MWL. Or, even better, blow the minds of all the anti-social types that live in Eaton and Martin.

h/t: Joe Sixpack

The Olympics

h/t: Doug

Also make sure to check out Skippy's excellent rant.

As for me, the only Olympics coverage I'll be watching will be a few seconds a day to laugh at the smog in Beijing and replays of either any sort of protest by athletes or a Chinese athlete getting his or her ass kicked, preferably by a Japanese or South Korean.

Negligent Discharge

If you handle and/or shoot firearms on anything approaching a regular basis (military, law enforcement, self defense, hunting, for fun, whatever) you owe it to yourself to read this account in full. A man committed a negligent discharge and shot himself in the leg with a .45 ACP round. In case you were wondering what that looks like...
Four of the five activities I listed above involve the use or possible use of firearms in order to kill someone or something. The moment you forget that is the moment that, at the very least, you end up with multiple 1 1/4 holes in your leg, a hospital stay, and multiple medical bills. At the worst, you won't have to worry about the medical bills.

Complacency kills.

P.S. - Kudos to this guy for manning up and putting his story out there so others can hopefully avoid his mistake. Like he says, there's no way that doing this will make what he went through "worth it," but at least others can learn.

Mid-Week Rock

In honor of the U.S. women's 2-0 debacle against Norway. Good thing it's the Olympics so I could really care less.

Our Constituional Rights

Featuring the favorite of the tin foil hat crowd, HAARP. Oh, and a lawn sprinkler too. And I suppose that basic physics makes an appearance as well. But don't tell her that.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

h/t: Sass

This one is just funny.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Guns

Choices choices...

My next gun purchase is going to be one of the next four. It depends on a few things. First, I have $200 in gift cards to Wally World. If I can find one that sells firearms and it has what I'm looking for, this or a suitable substitute will be my purchase:

Ruger 10/22:However, if somehow I am unable to use said gift cards on firearms purchase, I have three remaining choices. The first is relatively time sensitive. The CMP is having some M1917 Enfields go up for sale at the beginning of September and the Enfield is on my list of guns to own at some point, so it is tempting. However, the quality is far from assured, and the price is somewhat steep for a semi-unknown quality gun. But these guns (especially in an unaltered unsporterized condition) are getting rarer and rarer. And it was the gun Sgt. York used.Failing that, there is my old standby (at least till I get one) a service grade Springfield Armory Garand from the CMP.
Finally, if I decide that I need to wait for a bit longer for a gun, I might save up enough to get my current dream handgun, a Kimber Custom TLE/RL II. Don't think any further comment is needed for this one.

Like I said, choices choices.

Simpsons Nebraska did it

What you ask?

Carhenge:

HOOPER, Utah - A farmer has erected a fence in his backyard made of three old cars sticking up in the air to send a message to new neighbors that he can do whatever he wants on his farm. "This is just a fun way for me to say, 'Hey boys, I'm still here,'" said Rhett Davis. "This is my redneck Stonehenge."

<...>

"The people who bought the homes say, 'Well, we love looking into your yard and seeing the horses and the cattle, but we don't like the flies, and we don't like the mosquitoes,' and when I cut my field to bale it, they say, 'We don't like the dust in the air,' " Davis said.

Davis said he offered to pay half the cost of a fence between his property and the others and to build it. He said his neighbors declined the offer, saying it would block their view.

For the record, that's a creative way of dealing with some assholeish NIMBY neighbors. But don't say it's your "redneck Stonehenge," because, well, that's already been done:

Schadenfreude

It seems quite possible that the USAF no longer has the most screwed up procurement project in the U.S. Military. I think Galrahn is being completely reasonable when he implies that the DDG-1000 could do to NAVSEA what the A-12 did to NAVAIR.

What happened? In a nutshell, the Navy has been flat out lying to itself (for a time, anyway), to Congress, and to the American people about its next generation surface combatant (emphasis on the surface part of that, as you'll see.) According to several sources and statements from senior Navy leadership, the DDG-1000 was supposed to have an improved anti cruise missile capability over the current DDG-51 Burke class destroyers. Unfortunately, it now appears that the DDG-1000 lacks the capability to employ the Standard family of missiles (SM-2, SM-3, and SM-6). That would make it pretty impossible for the DDG-1000 to have any area anti cruise missile. Lie number one.

The second lie comes from the statement which revealed the first lie. In it, a Vice Admiral states that the DDG-1000 is still "meeting the requirements for which it was designed." A previous statement on record by a former CNO says that, as stated above, the DDG-1000 is supposed to have a better area anti-cruise missile capability than the DDG-51. If it can't employ the SM- family of missiles, then these two statements cannot both be true.

In fact, if it can't employ the SM- family of missiles than it is not a DDG- at all and is instead a DD-. A big "stealthy" DD- employing a big gun to give fire support to forces ashore from the littorals. Unfortunately, the Navy already has excess capability in this area from aviation and Marine artillery. Oops.

That's it in a nutshell, but you really should read the whole thing over at Galrahn's place to get a feel for the enormity of this debacle. For me, this takes the cake as far as procurement scandals go because of the blatant deception involved. This would be as if the F-22 lacked the capability to supercruise and employ AMRAAMs and then the USAF lied to cover the fact and tried to buy more anyway. Keep in mind that it seems unlikely that any of this would have come to light any time soon if the Navy hadn't already decided to kill the DDG-1000 program at two ships.

In any case, there's a lot more to come from this. Stay tuned over at Galrahn's place and the rest of the Navy blogosphere.

How to make your flight demo team sound tougher

Add "...of DEATH" on the end of your name.

h/t: LT Nixon's C.H.U.D. Busters via Outlaw 13.

South Park Monday

Headin' out Californee way

New Deployed Milblog

And when I say new, I mean you can smell the new blog smell. First post just went up a little under two weeks ago. Joe is a young enlisted guy running convoys from Kuwait into Iraq. Check out Fobbits need ice cream too. Other than BT there's not much out there on the currently deployed blogger front.

h/t: LT Nixon

How to tell you missed the point

Overheard in Ames yesterday, by a local student explaining Team America to a couple of Chinese exchange students: "Yeah, it makes fun of Americans and how they act towards foreigners and stuff. And then there's a really weird sex scene with the puppets."

Um, no.













It makes fun of everyone for everything, you stupid twit.

For Jeff

Figured he'd appreciate this:



h/t: Hot Chicks with Douchebags via LT Nixon

Here's some of the better stuff to come out of NJ:





And this seems fitting...

Skid steer fun

Working landscaping means I get to occasionally drive a skid steer. Now, the Case POS that the landscaping crew usually uses isn't too much fun to drive, but the nice Cat and Bobcat ones that the company also owns are. Of course, I can't say that I've ever tried to do any of the stuff these guys are doing...at least not intentionally.



(death metal warning on this vid)



Now that's just impressive. (h/t: Patrick)





And that's even more impressive.



Oops. You'll notice that appears to be a Case. The thing I hate most about their skids is that the controls are all operated by the hands (unlike some Bobcats) and that both sticks control both some movement of the bucket and some movement of the vehicle, unlike Cats, where one stick controls all vehicle movement and one stick controls all bucket movement. That sort of a control setup greatly eliminates accidents like the above video.