Wednesday, May 07, 2008

An Open Letter

To all those who make it a practice to run for the bus -

Thank you providing me with endless amusement. A couple of examples that I'll share with you:

First, a few days ago I had the distinct pleasure of witnessing a gentleman of a certain nationality (the same as mentioned in the post below) sprint the better part of 2 city blocks to catch a bus. And when I say sprint, I mean balls out going for the gold in the Olympics hauling ass. For 2 blocks. While wearing tight straight legged jeans and wearing a stuffed backpack.

Second, yesterday I was afforded the opportunity to watch a rather overweight male chase down a bus wearing flip-flops, some sort of MP3 player, and a backpack even more stuffed than the gentleman in the above story. The sound of his flip-flops thwacking the pavement was amusing enough, but the real kicker came when he dropped half of his MP3 player about 5 steps from the bus door. He had to run to the door, make a "wait up" motion to the driver, turn around and grab the rest of his device, and then finally get on the bus.

I'm not sure if there is anything more simplistically funny than a fat guy running for a bus.

For the record, since I am a man of character and principle, other than a few freshman mistakes I never have and certainly never will run for the bus. The proper response to seeing a bus you need to be on pull up to a distant stop is to walk as fast as possible yet still in a dignified manner to the bus stop. If you get there in time, you are afforded the privilege to smoothly get on the bus instead of arriving gasping and wheezing like a stampeded water buffalo. If you do not get there in time, wait for the next bus proudly, with your dignity intact.