Homosexual and Dix

Funniest. Replacement. Ever:

Tyson Homosexual was a blur in blue, sprinting 100 meters faster than anyone ever has.

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"It means a lot to me," the 25-year-old Homosexual said. "I'm glad my body could do it, because now I know I have it in me."

<...>

This time, he kept pumping those legs all the way through the finish line, extending his lead. In Saturday's opening heat, Homosexual pulled way up, way too soon, and nearly was caught by the field, before accelerating again and lunging in for fourth place.

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After the race, Homosexual and Dix looked at each other and slapped palms, then hugged.

Follow the first link for the whole story.

h/t: Radley Balko